Well, I read 230 Conan the Barbarian stories. What have I learned?

I wrote in my little "Welcome" post this past summer that I wasn't sure how long it would take me to read every Conan story or if I would even finish, but finish I did, and it feels to me like it went pretty fast. Part of me is sad about that: I love middle chapters where you're deep into an adventure but still have a lot to go. Empire Strikes Back, The Two Towers, Temple of Doom... I guess I'd sort of like to live forever somewhere around "The People of the Black Circle" if I could. But here I am at the end of reading 45 short stories, one novella, three novels, one essay, two poems, and a shitload of comics in between (130 stories in the original Savage Sword and 5 in the relaunched title, with 26 in Marvel's Conan the Barbarian and 12 in Titan's) that basically comprise my own Conan headcanon. I also got to read several metatextual books on Robert E. Howard, Weird Tales, and their satellites, interview writer Jim Zub and talk to essayist Jeff Shanks, all of which were really great experiences.

Mainly, I read every shred of Conan the Barbarian material written by Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague de Camp, Lin Carter, Bjorn Nyberg, Catherine Crook de Camp, and a few other assorted authors. So where am I at with all of this?

Well, I've consistently tired to avoid hagiography when writing about Howard. I find it trite when people hold up writers, especially ones as flawed and commercially-minded as Robert Ervin Howard, to be unassailable gods of their craft. While I think I did a decent job of not writing that way throughout this chronology, I have to admit that the best stories of this bunch really are those written by Howard. When I ranked all the original Howard material, then all the stuff that Howard wrote that may have also been edited or revised by someone else, and then just every story I read, the narratives written by anyone else didn't even crack the top ten. To be far, the bottom two stories also belong to ol' Bobby Howard.

I kind of feel like I've read an incredible epic: a life chockfull of adventure. While I used to say that I didn't care so much for Conan as a character and really just wanted to ride shotgun on his adventures, I've reached a much deeper appreciation for the Cimmerian himself and the themes of these books. Conan is not a simple character despite what a shallow reading might suggest. In reading The Dark Barbarian by Don Herron, I came across a quote from John D. Clark quipping:

"Don't look for hidden philosophical meanings or intellectual puzzles in the yarns- they aren't there."

L. Sprague de Camp agreed with him. I, decidedly, don't. I felt the tension in that continuing battle between the savage simplicity of barbarism and the complexities of civilization much more deeply after reading all this material. These books can be throwaway adventure fare, but at their best, they do have worthwhile messages and something you can really connect with.

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Issues to resolve with the chronology

After trying to place every Conan story on a linear timeline, there are still some issues I think I need to address. The first is my methodology- I decided to do this for fun, so I wanted a roadmap to follow, and I'm left wondering how my chronology would look different if I had simply read the stories in publication order without using a pre-existing chronology as a template. However, like I said, this was mostly for fun, so it was never a scientific endeavor. 

There are still a few stories that present issues, as well. I'd like to clear those up here. I've deleted my "Progress" page on this site and combined everything into the page just as "The Chronology" now. I've re-ordered everything into where I think it goes chronologically, and I broke up and color-coded different periods of Conan's life just for easier viewing. That full PDF is down below for your viewing.

​As I look at my finalized chronology, I feel like it mirrors both Joe Marek's and Dale Rippke's in a few ways. Here are the big takeaways:

1. "The Frost-Giant's Daughter" is the first Conan story.
2. The thief stories ("The God in the Bowl," "Rogues in the House," "The Tower of the Elephant," "The Hall of the Dead") occur in a west-to-east sequence rather than east-to-west.
3. "Xuthal of the Dusk" has to happen before "The Devil in Iron"

1. "The God in the Bowl"

Several chronologically-minded Conan writers put this story as the very first of Conan's experience in civilization, preceding "The Tower of the Elephant." Some have said that it was placed after "Tower" just for publishing reasons: L. Sprague de Camp and Lin carter wanted to start off their Lancer / Ace Conan books with a bang, and since "Tower" is generally a much better story than "Bowl," they placed it first to grab the reader. I could totally see that.

Dale Rippke makes a pretty compelling argument for this to be first based on Conan's characterization: that of a snarling, ignorant barbarian. I think he makes a pretty good case and I spent a lot of time re-reading the story to judge if I was wrong to put it later. Most of Rippke's arguments are about Conan's characterization which he reads as less experienced, less worldly, and, frankly, stupider than Conan's actions in "Tower." I actually feel like they can be read several different ways. In fact, maybe Conan stepped out to reveal himself to the guard not because he was still a northern yokel but because he was confident he could either convince the guard to let him pass or subdue him. Additionally, Conan speaks Nemedian in it, albeit "with a barbaric accent," which he would have potentially needed time to learn, casting doubt on the idea that he's brand-spanking-new to civilization. But Rippke's argument about Conan coming off as ignorant of civilized ways was really tough for me to ignore.

Rippke fills in some of the gaps in between stories with stuff like the following, which takes a little bit too much creative license for me:

"The murder of Aztrias Petanius forces Conan to flee Nemedia westward into Aquilonia. He continues to practice his thieving skills with varying degrees of success. A short time later, he relocates in Koth. Learning that Zamorans are masters of the art of thievery, Conan resolves to travel there to make his mark. He enters Zamora’s City of Thieves around a year after leaving Cimmeria."

But it's pretty clear to me that Titan Comics and Heroic Signatures consider "The God in the Bowl" to be the first thief story, with only "The Frost-Giant's Daughter" preceding it. I'll probably make a post about that at some point later. It also bears mentioning that "Bowl" was the first story started (and of course, shelved) by Howard after "The Phoenix on the Sword" sold, meaning perhaps Howard planned to reach back to the very beginning.

Moving "Bowl" up contradicts what I suppose would be considered the conventional wisdom about Conan's thief stories, which, as Wikipedia phrases it, "occur in a direct east-to-west sequence" according to most chronologies. I also think in this light that it makes the most sense to move "Rogues in the House" up with it, completely inverting the thief story trajectory. Instead of starting in Zamora and going east-to-west, Conan comes down from the mountains of Brythunia and begins in Numalia, where he sucks at thieving. He then goes to Corinthia, where he may be a little better but still gets thrown in jail, and then arrives in Zamora where he's becoming a much more skilled cat-man (the term many Savage Sword installments use for thieves). Looking back to this part of my reading, I think this makes a ton of sense and I'm moving "The God in the Bowl" up to the first thief story.

Now, the thief stories occur in essentially the opposite order of the old wisdom: they're west-to-east. Conan then heads south to Shadizar and then ultimately even further east to begin his days as a mercenary in the service of King Yildiz of Turan.

2. "The Frost-Giant's Daughter"

"The Frost-Giant's Daughter" is usually put in one of two places: either where I have it in first, or after Conan's Turanian mercenary days while he's on his way over to the western ocean to become a pirate for the first time. Both the Miller/Clark/de Camp chronology and the Robert Jordan chronology put this one in the much later slot. While I think the case for moving "God in the Bowl" up a few places is a pretty strong argument, I'm less convinced by putting this story much later.

Most of those arguments are predicated on Conan periodically returning to Cimmeria, which only seems to happen in the prologues written by L. Sprague de Camp in the Lancer / Ace books. These trips home never amount to anything and I can't find any reason why Conan would actually do them, especially repeatedly. Therefore, I think to put this story later is to give undue weight to de Camp's prologues.

I would also find it a little weird for Conan to return to the Aesir raiding party of his early days. Nobody is moving "Legions of the Dead" or "The Thing in the Crypt" around: they're definitely some of Conan's earliest adventures. When Conan leaves a group, he may occupy a similar profession later, but pretty much never returns to the exact station. He mercenaries in service of many leaders, but once he leaves Turan's service, he never sells his sword to the Turanians again. He becomes a pirate three different times, but always with different crews. So I find it odd and inconsistent with the rest of his career that Conan would return to the exact same Aesir raiding party as his youth. Plus, this story lines up nicely with "Legions of the Dead" as some of his first adventures away from Cimmeria, so I'm definitely not convinced to move it back to around "The Lair of the Ice Worm."

Conan has what I would argue is the least amount of self-control we ever see him exhibit in "The Frost-Giant's Daughter," becoming just overwhelmingly horny for Atali, which it seems he grows out of. You can see his self-control grow over the course of the thief stories as he matures.

3. "​Xuthal of the Dusk" (AKA "The Slithering Shadow")

This thing was a major pain in my ass for a while. It has to occur before "The Devil in Iron," but there aren't many places to put it that fit well. There are few places it can go without huge moves across the map. I've come to the conclusion that this is just the product of Howard rattling off stories without much concern for continuity- it's not like he had a show bible a la modern franchise-building (puke). I've done the best I can.

4. "The Vale of Lost Women"

"The Vale of Lost Women" is a point of contention for some other chronologies. Other chronologies put it much later, following "Drums of Tombalku." and cite that the Conan in this story seems more cynical and jaded than stories like "Queen of the Black Coast," which it's traditionally placed near. I could totally see it going later, but I don't think there's a ton of evidence either way. I think Conan still grieving Belit could be one reason why he comes across as so callous to Livia. But it could totally land later in Conan's life- I could definitely be wrong.

5. Conan's red cloak

One of the issues that I've never really been able to resolve (not that there may even be a perfect solution) is the issue of Conan's scarlet-colored cloak. Now, this is the definition of minutia, but mapping Conan's career is mostly fandom minutia, so that's what this whole thing is about.

There are four stories in which Conan wears a red cloak: "The Hand of Nergal," "Black Colossus," "The Snout in the Dark," and "Queen of the Black Coast." Many people have suggested that these stories take place proceeding from one to the next, assuming that it is the same cloak. 

"Nergal" is likely the first story of the bunch in that he seems to get the cloak at the end. At the beginning of that short story, he's clad in just a loincloth, similar to the thief stories. But at the end of the story, he drapes himself in a cloak of scarlet. "Queen of the Black Coast" is possibly the last of these stories, seeing as he drapes his cloak over the body of Belit once she dies. However, the characterization of Conan is very different in these stories, so I'm not convinced that they proceed from one to another. If they did, the order in which they would probably take place would be "Nergal," "Snout," "Colossus," and then "Queen."

I think the simplest solution is that the cloaks mentioned in these stories are different cloaks, as it's completely reasonable that there are multiple red capes in the Hyborian Age, and perhaps Conan just likes how they look on him.

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Reflections

At the end of this chronology, I've noticed a couple of patterns in the stories and in my writing on them. I've gotten a wide survey of Conan stuff, so I feel much more educated than I had been before. I feel like I did my best writing with my posts on "Red Nails" and "Beyond the Black River." Those stories were so compelling that I'm currently trying to heavily revise my "Beyond the Black River" post for a journal article. I'll let you know if I make progress (goddamn MLA reference pages).

Looking back, I think I prefer Conan's later career to his younger years. While I think one of the very earliest stories, "The Tower of the Elephant," is my favorite, I was surprised at how much I loved his more aged stories, especially his Aquilonian career and his kingship. "The People of the Black Circle," "Red Nails," "Beyond the Black River," "The Treasure of Tranicos," "The Scarlet Citadel," "The Phoenix on the Sword..." I could go on and on about how great those stories are.

While these stories vary widely in quality, I'd say the only truly terrible ones are those that are just staggeringly racist. "The Vale of Lost Women" has pretty much nothing going for it and "Shadows in Zamboula" is more compelling, but I think I'd feel like a twat ever recommending it to someone. It seems like much of the Conan fandom is happy to hand-wave-away Howard's racism, but I really disagree with that take. The late-life King Conan stories were mostly stinkers too, with "Black Sphinx of Nebthu" sucking particularly hard.

I've discovered that I think L. Sprague de Camp and Lin Carter are pretty good (but not great) and did a decent job of carrying on Conan's adventures for the most part, even if they're not as good as REH. I liked Bjorn Nyberg's contributions a lot, so I eventually picked up The Return of Conan on a whim, and boy was that a bummer of a read. I think I'm going to eventually give some of the Tor novels a shot, and I might make a post about them if I do. I listened to an audiobook version of Conan the Magnificent on a road trip to Salt Lake City last week, and it was alright.

Also, I love Savage Sword of Conan so much. I think the mag as a whole stands right next to the original REH canon in my mind. Comic form may still be my favorite way to read Conan. I had never in my life been interested in the Marvel Conan the Barbarian comic from the 70s until I did this project, but I bought first volume of the Original Marvel Years omnibus, and I loved it, so I'll definitely get the second one soon.

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Thank you!

Hey, if you've read a single one of my posts on this little blog or taken the time to comment (either here or over on Reddit, where I've posted a few of these), thanks so much for taking the time to engage with me! I would have done this blog with zero readers, but it was cool to see at times as many as 400 different people had visited the site over the course of a week. I love talking to people about this stuff, so you've been fun to engage with.

Sincerely, thank you!
​-Dan